Assuredly this had to be a phenomenon of some kind. With an oath I slammed on the brakes and went at once toward the direction from which the flying banana tree had come, to investigate. The bananas were a lovely unripened green color, and to lend credence to what I had just seen, one of the bananas fell from the tree as it went zipping over and hit my windshield with a loud splat, practically destroying all visibility. I, like the next man, know a flying banana tree when I see one. Maybe some of you will say that Hitchcock has taken leave of his senses at this point. During a recent vacation I spent in Haiti, I drove out into the countryside one afternoon along a picturesque road bordering a rain forest, and to my astonishment I saw a banana tree fly over the road and then heard it crashing into the forest. My conclusions came about quite by accident. This will take some explanation, and I am prepared to offer it to you. Furthermore, in many cases the gunmen involved are trying to kill each other without justifiable cause, or, it might be said, for the wrong reasons.
In view of this latest shoot-out and similar incidents in various parts of the country and to allay certain fears of the citizenry that crime is on the rise, I feel bound to disclose what has really occurred and despite what you hear or read, crime is on the decrease. Yes, and it's also sickening, some other politicians added. The police were not given an ounce of cooperation and indeed in some quarters it was felt that this apparent lack of civic responsibility was appalling. Their queries were met with much shrugging and replies such as, "I didn't hear nothing." "I didn't see anything." "I don't know anything." "I just come back from walking the dog." "What's going on?" "What's with all the cops?" More police arrived and confirmed that there had indeed been a gun battle of gigantic proportions however, their questioning of the residents of the area proved futile. All that greeted the patrolmen was acrid gunsmoke-filled air, empty shell cases and splintered-glass-covered sidewalks. Nevertheless, the police promptly dispatched a radio patrol car which arrived after the participants had fled. One desperate call was put through to the police by a man who refused to identify himself, saying, "What do you think I am, crazy or something?"
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It was assumed the residents had scattered in panic as the bullets buzzed through the night air breaking windows in stores and homes. Perhaps some of you remember the story in the newspapers earlier this year, about how a collection of hoods assembled one evening in a quiet New York neighborhood and proceeded to have a shoot-out and how, while there were hundreds of empty shell casings left strewn about the streets, there were no reports of anyone being wounded, and amazingly, there were no witnesses to come forth with an account of what had really happened.
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